Sex, Magick and Healing
By Christopher Penczak
Adapted from Gay Witchcraft: Empowering the Tribe (Weiser 2003).
In modern witchcraft, all magick is a form of love magick, starting with the vibration
of love, Perfect Love and Perfect Trust One can also say all magick is sex magick. Sexuality is the power of creative energy. Sex is energy coming together in union, bliss, or ecstasy, as part of the creative process. The trance of the shaman is often called an ecstasy, as are the witches' sabbat rituals. The enlightenment of the yogi is similarly described, called the bliss of the thousand-petaled lotus. At this elevated consciousness, we open past the awareness of separateness, to join with and experience another, and ultimately achieve oneness with the universe. All magick and mysticism work to see past the illusion that we are separate, and understand the greater truth that we are all one. Sex is a path of magical power and healing, for all couples gay or straight.
Although there is no guilt around sexual conduct in Wicca, we can create experiences in our life through our relationships where we feel hurt, used, abused, or otherwise lose our sense of self and personal power. Whenever you have sexual contact with someone, you make an energetic connection. That connection can last years after the relationship ends. That is why letting go of a past sexual relationship can be harder than any other type of relationship. It holds an intense energetic intimacy, along with the emotional and physical intimacy. We open ourselves to
the energetic intimacy. The results can be beautiful, but sometimes come with unexpected additions.
Regardless of the type of sex you are having, from romantic to wild, magical to fantasy role-playing, you are merging your energy bodies. Even if you don't realize it, and think it is strictly physical, you are still merging energy and making an energetic connection. There is
no casual sex. There can be casual attitudes about sex, but energetically, it is always something more.
Many spiritual teachings say you should not have sex with anyone whom you are not committed to. Most religions frame it in terms of the institution of marriage. What has been misunderstood in the teachings is the reasons why. Marriage and even a domestic commitment is not the issue. Love is the issue. I would rephrase it as you should not have sex with anyone whom you do not love. Now I'm sure to get a lot of criticism for that, but love has many different meanings. I do not necessarily mean a committed relationship, although that is wonderful if that is your desire. I don't mean "in love," that bubbly feeling you may have at the start of a relationship. When I say love, I mean the vibration of unconditional love. When you make a connection to someone through this love, that is the only bond you create. That is
the nature of the connection. There is no unhealthy attachment. The energy will not push and pull you off center. Unconditional love is an unattached love.
Unfortunately, in practical terms, this is much easier said than done. It's hard to hold a state of unconditional love all the time, in every sexual encounter. We feel very attached about our emotions, desires, and sexuality. It is a great gift and teacher because it helps us work though these things. Practically, it can be easier to work through these issues, mentally, emotionally, and energetically, with one committed partner than many casual partners. There is
nothing wrong with many partners as long as you understand the energetic dynamic and take responsibility for it. This is not a conservative call to monogamy if that is not your path. I think of the sacred prostitutes of the Goddess in ancient times, male and female, having many sexual partners and using that experience to heal and transform. You must find the path that is right to you. Simply be aware.
When addressing HIV education, people often say that when you have sex with your current partner, you are also having sex with everyone your lover has had sex with up until that point. That is at least a biological truth in terms of physical infection. When you merge your
energy with another, you are potentially merging with everyone they have ever sexually merged with and, taking the concept of energy exchange to its logical connection, all their future lovers. If you are not in a state of clarity, or understand energetic health and cleansing, you may feel muddled by the psychic imprint of many people and have difficulty sorting your own "stuff" out from others.
Many people go into sex with fear, shame, and a need to be completed by another. This is not the vibration of unconditional love. When you move energy with such emotions, that is the nature of your bond. It is particularly tough for gay lovers, because society imprints us with so much fear, shame, and guilt about our sexuality. Even though we might not originally create this energy, if we carry those feelings and self-judgments, then we must take responsibility for it. The more unhealthy or abusive the relationship and your view of it-whether a
long-term situation or a one-time encounter-the more the energy connection adversely affects you. You may feel you have given away a part of your personal power and soul to one who has not respected and cherished you in love. Time can heal such wounds, but magick can make
the process both quicker, by moving energy, and more conscious, by helping us to take responsibility for our actions and the feelings around them. The only fulfillment and healing we have comes from within.
Try the following ritual to reclaim any lost sexual, personal, and spiritual power from difficult relationships.
Exercise to Reclaiming Lost Power
1. First, reflect on all your lovers. Make a list, literally or
mentally. Do not judge how long or how short it may be. Simply
reflect on it and how you feel about all these past partners. Do any
stick out as particularly bad encounters that still need to be
healed? Be honest with yourself.
2. Get into a meditative state. You can do this meditation in a magick circle, or
without. I like to ritualize it and do it in the circle, myself.
3. Send yourself to your place of power and call upon your
the Goddess and God. Ask for their help in this
ritual and follow any messages they give you. They may have specific
instructions for you as you proceed, or be present simply as your
loving support.
4. Imagine a doorway before you. It can be solid, like a real
door, a cave opening, or a gateway of light. Call out to the first
name on your list of past lovers. Ask their higher self to be
present. If you have any unfinished words to say or questions to ask,
do so now. When you feel closure, say this or something similar:I thank you for our time together and the gifts you have given me. I
now release any parts of you that I should release for the highest
good.
Exhale and release.
I now reclaim any parts of myself that should be with me for my
highest good. So mote it be!
Inhale deeply, and feel your power move toward you.
It passes through a rainbow mist to be cleansed and healed before
entering your body with the breath, restoring itself to your spirit.Imagine the Goddess or God holding a sword, severing any unhealthy
cords of energy between the two of you. Thank and release that
lover's higher self, sending him or her through the gateway. If you
can, send the past lover a blessing of unconditional love and
forgiveness to transmute any remaining energies between you.
5. Repeat the process with all your past lovers, as much as you
can do this time. Know you can come back to complete the ritual later
if it is long. Some will return a tremendous power. Others return
little to none, because they don't have any. Some will keep energy
that was freely given and not in your best interest to have returned
anyway.
6. Thank the Goddess and the God. Say
farewell, return and ground yourself as needed. When done with the entire
list, burn it if you have written it out.
In the end, all sex is a spiritual exchange, from a romantic kiss and long-term marriage to a whips-and-chains orgy. Every time you express your sexuality, you are expressing spiritual, psychic, and magical energy, even if you are not conscious of it. A good witch becomes
conscious of it and uses each experience to bring a greater state of healing and balance.